By Carol Grever
“These girls show the need to outlive intact . . . Their passage to wholeness exemplifies forgiveness, progress, therapeutic, desire, and infrequently reconciliation.”—from MY HUSBAND IS GAY
Carol and Jim have been highschool sweethearts who married of their early twenties. Thirty years and childrens later, Jim introduced to his spouse that he used to be gay. A fundamentalist Christian, he were best a double lifestyles for years. in order to tackle her ache and confusion, Carol Grever sought out different heterosexual ladies, of every age, ethnicities, and academic backgrounds, who have been married to homosexual males. The tales she exposed research their coping innovations and shape the foundation of this guide for therapeutic.
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Additional resources for My Husband Is Gay: A Woman's Survival Guide
Example text
The others seemed less judgmental. ” Jim felt relieved and I felt free! Jim bought a new house and moved the spring before the business sale was final. I stayed in our old home, comforted by its familiarity and my healing garden. A few months later I filed for divorce. It was significant that we had tediously settled our financial affairs before this, because it enabled us to use the same lawyer and to maintain civility through the divorce. We were determined to salvage as much friendship as we could, honoring our long history together and the preciousness of our remaining family ties.
How does this happen? Why do some gay men seek out straight spouses? Why do they marry at all? And why don’t their wives suspect? How can these women be so blind—many times for decades? ” Our story may offer some clues. Just One Example When I was fifteen years old, I wrote in my diary that I wanted to marry Jim. Of course, he didn’t know it! But I fell in love with him long before he noticed me at all. Then and later, I always knew that I loved him more than he loved me. We met at our church’s youth group when I was in the ninth grade and he was a high school sophomore.
He used them as an effective lever. My kids needed both parents. I couldn’t turn my back on that responsibility. I decided to break off the affair and stay with Jim. From that moment, he had the upper hand in our relationship: I was the guilty underdog. So much for self-esteem! Expecting blame and condemnation from Jim as the days passed, I was surprised at his level of tolerance. He worked with me to pull the family back together as we received both joint and separate counseling with the minister of our church.